Examples of leads:
Compare.  Talk about these leads.  Which of each group is more effective and why?

Football paper #1

“Hey there, freshman.  I’m going to run you over.”
”Blue, ready, set, go!” the quarterback growled off the cadence.
 My eyes shifted from the quarterback back to the mountain of flesh in front of me.  For a split second I think that I saw drool sliding down the chin of the cave man that had spoken to me.  In another second, I was officially on my butt and underfoot of several hefty linemen.
 “Welcome to the Red Team,” was the only response that I got.
 

Football Paper #2

 In my paper I’ll talk about a broad range of topics that deal with football and with life that comes with football whether you like it or not.  Some of the topics I’ll be discussing is how football is a demanding sport which is not just a one season sport but one that involves preparation throughout the whole year whether you lift weights or get aerobically fit, you cannot afford to slack off in the off-season if you wish to be a successful player.   Another area I’ll be talking about is that if you are a good football player you are also expected to be a good role model for the whole community and if you make a mistake by blowing the championship game or get caught drinking the people do not forget that quickly if at all.  I’ll also be talking about how people who don’t ever play football are the people who criticize the players the most.  I’ll talk about these subjects by taking you through some of my senior year at X Academy.
 

Compare:

Draft 1
 The adolescent I interviewed is Eric F, a 16-year old high school sophomore.  I knew a bit about Eric’s personality prior to the interview because we work at the same restaurant.  This knowledge, however, was of no great detail, basically just superficial characteristics.  As I explained to Eric, my primary focus of this interview is to get a clear understanding of his personality.  With this I will then have insight into the relationship he shares with his family and how this relationship has affected his life.

Draft 2
 Sixteen-year old Eric isn’t going home tonight.  It’s a Friday evening and his spirits are soaring.  He has successfully convinced his reluctantly trusting mother to loan him the car, so he can stay at a friend’s house.  He holds the prized keys up and laughs at his deception.  His mother has no idea that tonight he’s going to attend a party and he’s going to get drunk.